Cliché. That's how I feel right now. Only a brave impulse will actually get this post published. We will see if it happens, I guess.
New Years are always so weird. It's a chance for a "fresh start" but you're still living the life you were living 24 hours ago. I'm pretty cynical about the whole thing honestly. Maybe because I'm not much of a goal setter, or I've just never had high expectations for my year's achievements outside of getting decent grades in school, which I've been done with for several years now. I've only kept one New Year resolution in my whole life and it was to not add salt to my food (with the exception of my mom's cooking), which isn't really a great resolution. And now I'm back to salting things so...
My new year, new goals cynicism is such a bummer for my husband who is a goal-setting machine. He has always encouraged me to set goals each new year in several categories, but I never do, until this year. I think he almost choked on something when I told him I wanted to talk about 2016 goals the other day. He couldn't believe I was initiating that conversation. Honestly, it was weirding me out that I was initiating this conversation, and I actually avoided starting it for a long time because I still don't really want to set goals. But I'm going to...
2015 was just a shitty year for me. I don't even want to use a euphemism. I'm not sure that the internet will ever get to hear about why I hated 2015 so much, but I just did. I progressed in nothing. I re-read the only four posts I made in 2015 and I can see myself descending into the nothingness that 2015 would be. A couple of good things came out of 2015, don't get me wrong, but for the most part I was really not a fan.
The good news is that God is faithful. And he continues to whisper encouragement and growth into my life even when I'm firmly against it. And that's where this goals conversation came from. The whispers of my faithful Father. I told him several times I didn't want to do this or tell my zealous husband about it, but he disagreed with me, and ultimately he always wins.
So here are my unconventional, seemingly simple goals. They seem simple, but remember, I'm actually pretty new at this and I'm rebuilding myself this year. Each day I will do these four things: create one thing, read something, pray for one thing, clean one thing.
These goals will stay open ended and simple. Sometimes I will post a photo of my accomplishments. Sometimes I won't. Maybe this year I will create a few more blog posts. Maybe my sink will stay empty, and I'll vacuum the stairs finally. I might finish a book this year. I might be a part of a miracle. Only time will tell. Here's what I know for sure, this year will be different from last year, and it will be different than 2014, 2013, 2012, or 2011...and that's ok. In fact, it's a good thing...I think. :)
I've got a few additional self-disciplines I'm throwing in the mix this year too. But they are just tools that will help me do these four things each day. They are also pretty simple:
- Don't come downstairs until I'm able to walk out of the house wearing what I will wear for the day (except for on slow Saturdays with Marc).
- Only watch 3 half-hour episodes (or less) of Netflix/Hulu alone per day. Good bye binge watching.
2016 is here now. It's time to try this mess out. I'm definitely going to fail some days, but I'm giving myself the grace I would extend to anyone else this year. Here's to a new year and new things, friends.