A Banquet, A Pastor's Assistant & A Printing Company

These first few posts are very me-centric. I'm not going to be doing that all the time, just to establish and get started. Like I said, I want to document where I've been and that's step one. When we moved to Maryland, Marc and I wanted to get established in a church and really be a part of it. We sucked at doing that in college, we picked the wrong church, got shut down and then just quit trying. We decided in pre-marital counseling that it was really important to our marriage that we establish a strong relationship with a local group of Bible believing people. I'm not going to lie, we took our sweet time picking a church, we'd been burned too many times in the past so we were hesitant and we wanted to make sure we were getting it right. It's amazing how God even uses our disobedience to work for his plan, because the timing worked out really perfectly for my attempt at self-employment.

We finally settled on The Church at Severn Run in Severn, MD around Christmas 2011. We started going regularly, we sat alone, but we went. One day this guy was wearing an LSU shirt, I made a victory hand gesture of some sort, fast-forward and we are suddenly really plugged into the Young Married Professionals Small Group thanks to him & his wife. Now this group does a lot for Severn Run, which we didn't know getting into it, but I'm glad they do. Two of our leaders had been asked to coordinate this capital campaign banquet and they were trying to figure out invitations and RSVPs and they remembered that I was a designer trying to get started. I like to think of this moment as my big break. They introduced me to Brenda Bailey who is the assistant to the Pastor at Severn Run, and she quickly learned that I was pretty ok at this design stuff. She has been one of my biggest "sales people" ever since February 2012 and I will always be aware of that.

In April 2012, something CRAZY happened – I got a job interview! I had my own little thing petering along, but I was still applying to jobs here and there. I decided that I needed to reprint my portfolio for this job and that was a problem because my interview was the next business day after a holiday. This lead to a frantic search for a printing venue that could do a little better than Kinkos, and I remembered a small company Brenda had mentioned called DigitalWorx. For some reason, they were the last ones I called, but I finally did. After viewing my portfolio, and receiving a raving review from Brenda, DigitalWorx asked me to partner with them as a pre-press designer and they are honestly one of the biggest blessings to my career.

That's a lot of backstory, I know, here's my confession y'all. I was not seeking God through any of this ever, yet he was still setting up these steps for me to take. He was opening windows and I was blindly crawling through them. Remember how I said Marc and I really just stopped trying at the church thing in college, well that can apply to pretty much everything in our relationships with Christ. We weren't seeking, we weren't trying, we just weren't. It's a miracle to me that he still was seeking after me when I was blatantly not seeking him.

Here's my take away from these totally unplanned, yet pivotal events:

  • Don't stop seeking God. How much more peace and assurance would I have had if I was taking the time to seek out where God was taking me?
  • Community is so important. All of these events were based on people, community. Each person involved in this part of the story has taught me to value myself and my talents and that has been monumental in my story today.

If you are starting to get tired of hearing about how God's hand in my life has led me to where I am today, well it's just too bad. I can't deny his provision in my story and I'm grateful for it and humbled by it each time I reflect. 2 Corinthians 12:9 is real in my life, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

In my next post I want to reflect on how my confidence was slowly restored through my relationship with these new people, and we will start talking about some of my early projects (that I'm proud of!).

Product of the Recession

I did pretty well in college. My project were displayed every now in then. I made it into a couple of art shows here and there. My professors rarely told me to start over, just how to improve. I'm pretty sure my classmates disliked me for a while. I did ok. I had some crazy expectations of what my life would be like after walking across that stage. I thought I would get my diploma, move to Maryland less than a month later, and then I would be offered a great job right away! Ideal, right? Here's what I didn't consider: I didn't know what I wanted to "specialize" in, I had zilch web experience, I had minimal job experience in my field period, I was moving to one of the hubs of the design world, the United States East Coast. Silly me thought that employers in the Baltimore/DC area would have heard of my dear Christian college, I was wrong. I spent the first 3-4 months applying to design firms in the area, usually not receiving a single peep or even an automatically generated email back. It was hard. It down right sucked. Instead of adding to my portfolio, I looked at it, got depressed, and went to bed. Who knew I sucked so bad? I thought I was in this huge amount of student loan debt to be good at graphic design, apparently I wasn't good at graphic design. I walked into this time with confidence in my own ability, in the job market, in my own plan for success and all of that crumbled. I finally resigned to being a shoe saleslady at Designer Shoe Warehouse because at least I knew what shoes looked good and were a bargain.

Looking back on this time in my life, I realize there were a lot of things at work against me getting an awesome job right away. I've read several articles that talk about recent college graduates being severely under-employed, which helped me realize I wasn't in my situation alone. Also, I can look back and see that God was really looking out for me during that time. He knew were he wanted me, and I'm sure he wasn't super impressed with how I was reacting. There are a handful of other things I'm discovering about myself that would not have thrived in the 9-5 business world as well. I was protected from that, and now I am grateful.

After working at DSW for almost 6 months, I realized that I was terribly unhappy, I was missing design work, and everything I learned in college was leaving fast. I took a job a at a small promotions company in the area along side shoe monkey-ing and accepted an extremely low pay rate because I was deflated. I owe a lot to the enthusiasm of that tiny promotional company, they built up my confidence just enough to take the leap into starting a solo venture in February 2012. I quit DSW, I jumped into entrepreneurship with both feet and I almost drowned because I had no idea what I was doing or why. I honestly believe it's by the grace of God alone that Marc (my wonderful husband, get used to seeing that name) and I didn't rack up more debt in the following months.

So here I am, slowly learning how to be a good designer again, slowly learning how to be self-employed, slowly learning to be confident in what God created me to be – a product of the recession.

The biggest life lessons I learned during that crazy time can be summed up like this:

  • Expectations empty from God's plan are meant to be broken.
  • You are never alone. You're probably doing better than you think.
  • You cannot rely on the approval of people around you (peers, professionals, industry, etc.) for your own self-confidence. You'll be smashed every single time. Smashed, obliterated, decimated. God is enough.
  • If you are a creative, don't let yourself stop creating for a period of time. You'll coil up so quickly into what you were a decade ago, keep creating, even if its crappy.
  • I am extremely blessed with a supportive husband. He shouldn't have been ok with me quitting DSW because that was logically insane. He trusted my ability and he trusted in God's provision.

I couldn't be more grateful for this season in my life now. I wouldn't be remotely close to the person I am today had I not gone through those things. I allowed myself to be torn down and stripped of my pride early on in my career and through that God's plan and ability have flourished richly in my life. We don't have it all, but that's ok. I keep coming back to Philippians 4:12-13 in all of this "Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." (The Message Version)

My next post will be more about the journey leading me to the purpose I've discovered for my endeavors and some key people that helped me get there.

Introduction

I'm coming up fast on my second anniversary of graduating from college, marrying the love of my life, and moving all the way from Texas to Maryland. Naturally, with this many anniversaries coming around, I'm starting to get pretty reflective. Going from the me of 2011 to the me of 2013 has been a pretty crazy journey, and it's time to start documenting some of this stuff for me, for those of you who care about me, and for those who might be going through the same ride that I did soon. Here are a few things I want to establish about my blog:

  • I don't have my life figured out, that's not why I'm blogging. I'm blogging because I don't want to forget where I was and how I got to this point. If I forget those things, I won't remember how to grow past 2013 me.
  • I'm not a writer. Sorry grammar fiends of the interwebs, I'm just not going to spell everything right or punctuate correctly all the time, but it's not because I'm not trying. My brain is just good at replacing grammar knowledge with other things I learn.
  • I am a Christian and I will write through that lens often. It's how I see the world, it's how I live life. It's messy, it's crazy, it's super hard, but I am continually reminded that it's worth it. If you are here to argue with me about my beliefs, go ahead and take a hike, this isn't for you.
  • I'm not promising any sort of post frequency. I know, I know, blogger no-no, but life is crazy and I want to live it.

One of the things that you guys will realize I have learned is that goal making is really important. Establishing a mission, values and goals for each thing you do will set you up for success. I was a huge rebel to this idea in college, but after being knocked back on my bum after running in meaningless circles a few too many times, I realized having goals and focus isn't a bad thing. Here are a few preliminary goals of my blog:

  • Documenting my journey from fresh out of college, to self-employed and having somewhat of a consistent income.
  • Sharing how I have and am continuing to squash the crushing self-doubt that paralyzed me for quite some time.
  • Sharing how I try to stay motivated, focused and productive without a boss looming over my head.
  • Sharing my growth in faith along side my growth in career.
  • Giving my two cents on how to save two cents. How we are managing our debt, and not letting it keep us from living.
  • Sharing some awesome church communication/design wins in my experiences at The Church at Severn Run as their Brand and Communications Manager.

I'm sure the random fun post will pop in every once in a while, but these are the things I want to reflect on the most. I hope y'all enjoy hearing my story. And if this template lets you post comments, leave me your thoughts.